Wow it's been a while

     I didn't realize how long it had been since I wrote last.  I have had quite a bit go on in my personal life.
     I had gotten accepted to two branches of Charis Bible College, to start this fall, back in September.    One in Colorado and one in the south.  But my husband didn't want to move yet, even though the rest of us were excited and ready to go to Colorado.  I prayed about it and decided to stay, because there was supposed to be a second option of going to a more local extension school.
      But a couple of days before classes were to start the Dean of the students at the head in Atlanta decided to cancel our classes stating that, "I have conceded to drop the class from 5 people to 4.  I will not, I refuse to concede to 3 students."  Even though we "3" had all paid in full.  There are no teachers, as it's all on video.  So no overhead there.  He even said it was not a financial decision, that it would affect our learning environment.  I asked how one more or less student would effect the environment and he gave no answer.  He had NO answers to any of my questions.  He didn't explain anything with any real answers.  Except the fact that he had NOT prayed over the decision to cancel our classes.  I had worked 3 years to get to that point and the man didn't even talk to God about cancelling us 3 ladies classes.  I get the feeling if it had been all men in the class it would have been different.  He was very rude to me.  He said I could go and drop in on first year classes anytime.  Well no, that's stupid to me...I did my first year. Why do that?  Why drive an hour and a half one way to redo my classes?  How ignorant of him.
    He had a bad attitude.   So much so that I called the main campus in Colorado but they never contacted me back.  Strike two in my book.  I really don't understand how you can run a bible college extension based on God's love...and a relationship with God and yet at the same time you do not consult God about what decisions you are making in this school!  How hypocritical and how wrong for you to run things on your own because that is unbiblical!  Completely against what the bible teaches, which is for people to rely SOLELY on GOD and NOT  ON OUR OWN WAYS.
    I stopped supporting the school's ministry after all of this occurred.  When I called crying and asking to talk to someone and no one calls me back...well I'm not going to give you money if you can't be responsible with the little things...like calling me back.
   I am having to seek God in this so that I do not have any bitterness towards that mess of a man and that ministry.  I have learned a lot from them.  But maybe this is where our paths diverge and I am meant to have a different path in my spiritual walk from here on.  I am cool with that.  I am.  I do not want to have ill will towards that man.  But he really could have been kind and had at least a tad of compassion about squashing our dreams.  Geeze.
   Then after all of that I have had some ups and downs with my husband.  Our relationship has been tedious.  I have been quite stressed and have had to put up more boundaries while seeking God's help in healing my hurts.  Hubby has been changing, letting God change him, which is wonderful.  Though, I still feel pressure to change and do things his way, instead of being myself.  I still feel pressure to act a certain way...to provide the things he feels he "needs" from me.  I do not like that co dependency vibe at all.  I do not like expectations on me when I am wanting to step back and breathe and heal.  It makes things more difficult and takes away precious time...I could be using enjoying life and healing at the same time.
    I had not had the courage to write again because after years of never reading my blogs or my poetry, through this recent period of time and struggle, hubby suddenly wanted to read my writing.  Unfortunately, some of it was misunderstood and thrown up later on in discussions.  That got things heated and the standby of fear crept in.  You don't want to make him mad.  So you quit doing the things you love...the things that help you...so you won't upset someone else.  It reminds me of my childhood relationship with my dad.  So, I decided to kick fear to the curb and write anyways.  It's been long enough and writing really is a good medicine for me.

   

Starting Bible College Again Soon

     I am really excited about starting this term of bible college.  I attend Charis Bible College online.   I took the last term off because we were really busy with my daughter's softball and all kinds of other things.  I have missed it terribly and do not want to ever take another term off!  I usually take one class but this term I am taking two.  I am really thankful for having the money to be able to take two classes.  I know they are not that expensive, only 150 a piece.  But, I do not expect my family to do without anything in order for me to do what God wants me to do.  If He wants me to take more classes, He will give me extra money and in the right time, and He did that this time!  I am so excited.
      I posted about the classes I have taken and in more detail about what I am taking this term on my other blog.  I am excited especially about the Your Home Can Survive the 21st Century by Delron Shirley.  I appreciate any and all edification in the area of my home...after all it is my main ministry and job!  Thank you God for that one!
      I really enjoy being able to discuss the classes online with the other students.  You can take the classes via correspondence, and it is a little bit cheaper, but you do not get the interaction online. I have made some for life friends through the classes and am so thankful for that fellowship with like minded believers!
     *and no I do not get anything off of recommending this school, except a good feeling knowing I am doing the right thing in sharing what God is doing in my life*