Thankful for today 7/26/12

Thank you Lord for helping me finish my first year of Charis Bible College. Thank you for your wisdom! Thank you for the call you have for all of us!
Thank you for clean running water...electricity...toilet paper...and baby wipes.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

I really do not know what to do

     I have a very good man for a husband.  Is he perfect, no.  Am I perfect, oh heck no...lol.  I am having to figure out how to handle the way he handles some situations.  For example, when he comes home and is not greeted the way he expects to be, he can get offended and then it can steam roll from there.
    Today, for example, I had a mild headache and had been waiting all day to find out if I might even have a chance to get the number to the mental ward where my dear friend was at.  I had not talked to my friend in 23 days, you see.  I was sitting on the couch watching a show while playing with my son. I usually don't watch much tv.  But thought I would for a little bit today.  My husband came home, came in the living room, and started asking me questions about our daughter. So I answered him. And things just seemed to go downhill from there.
   From there I was accused of being a b*tch ever since he had gotten home.  But I don't see how.  I was not all lovey dovey...but who is when you have a head ache and are preoccupied.  It's not personal.  I was never told hello or offered a hug.  So I didn't disrespect him by not taking a hug or saying hello back.  I just don't understand...after being married for so long...why would you get so upset if your partner doesn't jump up and down when you come in...does it not occur to you that they may be in pain, or have had a bad time, or moment? Why does it always revolve around you?  I had just had my daughter sass me, tell me she wasn't doing what I said, and storm out of the house....on top of all that, before he got home.  So, I was trying to maintain my cool and refocus.
    Then I get blamed for his ill behaviour.  Over and over again.  I am really tired of being blamed for his issues.  Lord I am so tired of that crap.  So tired.  Lord, remember my deal to you...you only have one more week for me to be able to see a difference in him...and a couple after that to make it work.  I refuse to wait around any longer...I have spent over a decade on this...